It seems like there are a lot of one steps back lately. I started treatments at a clinic that specializes in CFIDS and Fibro last June, and was making significant progress over the first 5 months or so - very encouraging - and you don't realize how hard it is to be encouraged by anything in the treatment of this crazy disorder. In fact, most of the time, it feels more like I'm crazy rather than the disorder.
I was doing better. Really better - measurably better. Honest.
Now I feel like I'm stuck in no man's land, halfway into a treatment which isn't going to move backward, but suffering again from some of the things supposedly already addressed by treatment. My wife's health has been bad for the last 3 months, and when the guy with CFIDS is the strong one in the house - ain't much getting done right or well. So now my treatment is moving on to address other things - and I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to go back and regain what I had a few months ago. The other thing that bugs me is thinking about just how effective the treatment was if it took only a few months of the stresses of life to dismantle it.
So, we'll see what happens. Encouraging has been replaced by that same old familiar feeling - running on fumes.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
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