Julie and Julia

Just saw the movie, it was very good - Meryl Streep, as so often is the case, was spot on. Learned a lot about what makes a successful blog from this movie as well. Must apologize for anyone reading this one. I repeat myself, ramble and my grammar is horrendous - not to mention that I don't really have a point (or a clue sometimes). I'll take English and start another one under a Pseudonym :) - but for now you're stuck with me - of course no one is forcing you to read this so evaluate whether the time from your life is worth what you've put into this.

One More Thing...

Anyone with CFIDS is used to having to prove the very existence of the illness in their lives. I've been no exception - I have a brother who has told me CFIDS is all in my head. Wish that could possibly be true. I'd also like to take whoever came up with the name Chronic Fatigue and string them up. If ever a name was a misnomer, this is the one. Frankly, I'd rather be called a drunk (if I drank that is). If fatigue was even one of the top 5 problems to work through, I'd accept it - but the way this condition ravages the central nervous system is by far the worst for me. For most of the time I've had this, if a light bulb blew out when I turned it on, that small pop would be enough to launch me into a migraine and the adrenaline would completely shut down the cognitive process - for up to 3 days. Im some ways I am better now, but with this multiplicity of conditions, when one gets better, one gets worse as well.
As I write this, just got a call that one of my friends from work (same age as me) is not expected to live through the night. Everytime I start to feel sorry for myself...

Well, It May Have Finally Happened

For 9 years plus now I have been waiting for the answer to the question - what happens if I catch the flu? I'm not sure it's the flu I've gotten, but I sure am sick. Still hopeful that it could just be a bad cold - and literally fearing that it doesn't get into my chest. If that happens, I could be in bad shape - as it takes me a week to recover from a 24 hr virus. So the flu could easily either cause complications or just take me a month to recover from. I'll keep you updated - (assuming someone's reading this that is). Hoping not to give it to my wife, whose condition is bad enough already - if she gets sick and we're both down - Lord help us, as there's nobody else around.

I know when you are young you think you are 10 feet tall and bullet proof, and as you age you start the realization process of all the things that can go wrong, but literally living in fear - that's a new one for me, and frankly, shows a lack of faith in my Lord to watch over me at all times. Sickness rarely produces great faith, although I can truthfully say that I would not change the past 9 years for anything. What I've learned through this illness has been something I could not have done without it - I am certain. Enough for today.